My Blog

waaaa…. i miss my blog.. but i think i’m not missin good stuffs in my life.. im out there, enjoying every  God’s blessing..  i just moved out from a workplace.. got new environment and new routines.. hehehe… i get to mingle with new set of friends… get to go new places.. discoverig myself and other people i get to hang out with.. hehehe… maybe then there’s a reason for everything.. i bet God has great plans for me… though i was wondering why things didnt come out the way i wanted it to happen, maybe then it would have been different now.. i might not be able to enjoy and appreciate what God has blessed me… sometimes, the peace of mind you badly want to have becomes natural when to let go of the things that cause the heaviness of your heart… Mind if you didnt get that now.. You’ll just have it in time..in God’s time… worry not when you fail first, there’s always a new beginning to start with… All it takes is acceptance… Mind if people hurt you, its not your conscience thats  in trouble.. you’ll have a great sleep every night..hehehe… Give time to your self… uhmmm… it doesnt take overnight to change onself.. but it takes an inch of braveness to start changing a bad habit… Hate not yourself because God loves us so much!

i noticed my recent entries were too emotional..hhaha..  simply because it was my choice to feel awful those times.. been there.. hehhe.. with a handful of experience.. done that.. now, i’m just learning to enjoy life.. to make things worth my time.. giving myself time to breathe and to learn more.. just a happy face, a huge smile… i definitely found my peace… and i choose to be this way!

where would i start? heehheh…this is the first time il be talking about this thing not in a subtle way! aherms.. i was in a breakup months ago.. things popped in my mind while facing the reality! is this really over? or is there a room for reconciliation? wow, now i understand the word hurt and the word “makarelate” when friends/people share their dramas over  breakups.. before, i would strongly say, why would you feel the hurt over someone who isn’t anyway a blood related person to you.. someone who damn hurt you! waahh.. now, i just keep my mouth shut and think of ways to move on and don’t sound bitter! i thought of just giving that love and care to somebody else,like another partner like what most people do just to move on! but heck, ill llet again other person to hurt me! no, no way! not now when im not yet okey.. kainis, i was in misery trying to figure out ways to forget it! what i did? i just hang out with friends.. friends friends.. they were my pillows to dry my tears! charness! hahha.. and also i gave time for myself.. luxury! ang mahal pala mg move on! magastos ha!hhehhe.. it took me days, weeks, even months! then bang, i was tired of the dilemma. tired of feeling sad. im sick and tired of it! ahha.. it’s true the time heals! i cannot just get rid of the feeling as soon as possible. it will just happen in time! that time when you already felt the pain and hurt and become numb because you just have so much pain! the time when out of nowhere you just forget to think of that person. that time when you learn to live day by day without getting him involve. that time when you begin to be happy with what you have! When you can laugh loud again! if i could assess myself a percentage of being over him! that would be ninety percent! may not be perfect but getting there! a state of loving even better again! hmmmmm..to whom!

someone who would keep his promises! someone who’ll be there for me and give me a hug whenever i’m feeling blue! someone who’ll give me a ring when i’m in trouble! someone who trusts me sincerely! someone who is honest with what he really feels in any situation! someone who’ll stop me when im being “mataray”! someone who would take time to know me better..someone who can overcome his pride and ego!someone whom i can eventually call my besTfRiEnD! hehhehehe….

i have so much to share. so many people to thank. so many lessons to learn. so many adventures to cherish. so many love to give. so many things to discover. so many problems to encounter. so many achivements to prosper. so many plans to come true. so many things to buy. so many places to visit. so many to stories to unfold. ups and downs gave my life a colorful journey.  happy birthday to me!lol. may i be examle of a good daughter (as if i am) hhehe.. may i be strong enough to face upcoming trials(hahhaha) i’m foreseeing them to happen! and lastly, may i be a good christian!

Most people didn’t know that I was in my toughest life struggles for the past months..They just thought I was living in an easy go lucky life. They just thought I was not facing any hard scenario. I am. I was. The months that had passed where the most challenging eposides in my existence this year. char. Deep inside my smiles and laughters then was a heart that was so eager to see wisdom.  They saw me as someone who never had problems. If there are, they aren’t big enough..Darn. They were just few people who knew the things i have been through. Stressful thoughts, pressured moments, confused and in despair.. come to think of those adjectives! aren’t those life changing experience?in work, love and life in general.  I was even hating people then. I was losing my hopes and faith.  I was in desperate attempts to solve them one by one but they got worst. But the only thing that helped me get through those times was to pray and pray. I prayed that people would stop destroying my character, prayed that people would listen to my opinion and prayed that people would realized the bad things they have done.. and guess what, prayers worked.

I was so worried of the decisions and situations that i was into. So worried on the results..the so called depression.. But i’ve realized, why would i care? I can live without them! I can live without it! God has other plans for me. It could be in other places or in other buildings..haha..basta.. it means something!

What I did? I tried forgetting my problems? how? talking with friends. Sometimes, they became shock absorber of my temper…sorry guys! I go out and enjoy life. It has become lighter that way. No pains, heartaches, worries and fears. I just let God ruled over me. See? I’m happy. I found my comfort from real people!

I’ll soon be 22. I may not be so wise and mature but I’ve learned my lessons very well..Be friend to all but trust not all.  Definitely, I just have freakin situations wherein it was proven that they are just a heck of hypocrites. I just laughed at it right now! I don’t care with them. I was able to love myself more! I was able to give more care and importance to people who give me hopes.. ehhe.. I was able to let go of my fears and worries. I was able to pray not just for my own but for others.! I was able to love my family even more! I was able to appreciate that i’m so blessed.!

At the end of this, I just want people to know that I have the heart! A heart that knows happiness, sincerity, pain (wheew), wisdom and love! Life has many things to offer! Not all the time I’ll be sad! Not everything will always be perfect for me not to experience trials! Love life and everything will take place in God’s perfent time!

colette_me

two weeks ago, i found out that maskara festival is coming.. an idea popped in my mind. what if i’d go there and forget all worries and problems i’m facing for the past two months..hmmpp..i really what to get rid of those problems..so, i decided to go there whatever it takes.. knowing i’ll spend money for that… glad, a friend is working in bacolod. she is in a boarding house.. my only problem that time was my parents.. would they allow me to travel alone? not quite, i bet.. after days of working,  i went home. i immediately asked mama if i could go there. wow, for the first time with no questions asked, she said yes..”hurray”.. i couldn’t sleep well because i was too excited to go to bacolod and travel alone. i felt the independence/freedom or whatever you call it…hehhe.. i felt like i’m already grown up and mature enough to decide on my own.

i took the second trip via mabinay..  my second time to visit the place.. hmmpp.. around 5 hours of travel.. i took naps from time to time for i barely had enough sleep the night before..huhu.. so much for the excitement, i texted my friends that i’m going to bacolod all by myself..it was such a strange feeling that i never felt scared roaming the place.. i dont know.. it was different when i went to manila or cebu..i think i would love the place now and would be eager to come back again for days. how i wish..as always, i had fun chatting with different people, listening to their dialect of which i hardly understand, meet new peple and observe their lifestyles.. really, you would distinguish differences in every city or region.

I went home very happy and fulfilled. i forgot my problems and had fun. i met new people who were very nice. i learned how to deal with them though there’s language barrier.. i was able to reflect on every issue i got into while i was travellling alone in a bus where nobody knew me. i got to be on my own and protect myself from any harm. i’ve learned how to take care of myself.. it was a trip i was dying to have to overcome all the stress i’m into..

it maybe in a short period of time, but it gave me a time to have fun. i needed a break. i needed bacolod..ehhehe..a time for myself. a time to discover new things about my self and the environment i’m trying to know..

if i could have the time and money to travel. il do it.. enjoy life and live in simplicity..

colette_me

hmmmpp..i think every girl was able to write on her friend’s autographs/slumboooks way back in high school.. even  men..hehhe.. that was part of high school memories.. i even let my crushes sign in my autograph..take note.. nkakahiya man but kilig right.. i miss those stuffs.. why? because everyone then was so excited to know the name u put on the question “who is your crush? hehhe.. i still have all my autographs back home signed by friends, classmates and oh..crushes..hehe..i’ve searched the net of the frequently asked questions on those autographs we call here in the philippines.

here:

bithday: november 6, 1986..lapit na birthday ko..

status: singles.com..lol

zodiac sign..scorpio

fave book/s: ummhh..i just love archie comics though i sneeze everytime i open the pages for they are older than me..hhehe..i just carefully keep them..you can also donate some editions of it to me..hehhe

fave food: rice..hahha..i can’t live without it, of course..stake stake stake

fave movie: dami eh.. hmmmppp..braveheart?hahha..

fave flower: white rose..hehhe

fave actor: ummhh.. tom cruise ever

fave actress: sandra bullock

fave singer : local si sarah..

fave band: dami like  parokya ni edgar, southborder

fave scent: lacoste ung red ha pero ubos na so im using right now urban flowers na perfume..hehhe

here are some personal questions:

what is love: hmm..based on my personal experience..haha..char.. something that you can’t explain unless you’ve been hurt..lol

what i want to be when i was a kid: i was in grade school then that i wanted to become a teacher..hahha..i even dreamed of becoming a nun..akalain mo un..hahah

most embarrassing moment: dami nah..hhaha..when i was i college, there was a pile of sand near the gate, and i slipped on it..worst, many saw me,..huhu,.kakahiya talaga un..

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hmmmpp.. i should have written this thing immediately after the weekend but i just had my piece of moment at this point where all i can do is just sit and talk. for more than six months of working outside negros oriental, i had my thursday night sleeping in our house.. hehe..sounds great ah..four nights and three days in negros..hahha..but i didn’t have all the luck in my palms.. my phone just had it’s time of unrendered services to it’s owner..huhuh..there was something wrong with it and i just had to pay the cellshop a huge amount of money to make it work..hehhe..huge ha..why? because i can already buy 2 blouses in that boutique where the lady promised to give me discounts..kainis..it was reprogrammed and all memory were lost..huhu…but anyways, it didn’t ruin my entire weekend.. i was in the downtown area that afternoon to buy some stuffs for my brother..hehehh..then i met a high school friend. we never seen each other after graduation..hehe..he changed??/slight.. physically…i think i;m the only one didn’t change..haha..still very thin..we just had minutes of conversation..what surprised me was that he was not snob like some old fellas..hehe..but i doubt if he was still humble then..aside from the looks, quite boastful…the next day, i went to the same mall.. window shopping lang..then i just had this thing they say “call of nature” ahehhe. i hurriedly went to the powder room at the third floor of the building when i saw another high school classmate..like the other, it took years before we had our minutes of catching one’s whereabouts..hehe..we we’re not that close in high school. but i really admired her for she was the one who waived and greeted me first..then on..we just had countless talks bout work, life, chikkas on our high school classmates and friends, experiences and laughters. i was really glad to see her again as bubbly as that..after a while, we bid our goodbyes and exchanged contact numbers..which was one way of communicating with old pals.. i was really happy to note that even if so many things have changed, we would still have things to talk about..friends, one of the most valuable people i would cherish no matter what happens.. friends will always be friends even if you know the bond is not the same as before..i’d still love meeting some friends way back then.see yah soon….

i thought i would always be dumped in a corner wondering how things had happened so fast. but just in time, when im about to lose myself, iv found genuine happiness from people/things which i thought dont care bout me.  i was wrong.. it was just i didn’t give chance for them to share that they care. i build walls because i thought i’ve already found that person/s. heck.. it takes time to know a person and it’s best that the time given, you were able to know the best and worst of someone.  Many people have huge problems than I do yet they do not become bitter. I’ve read in the bible this morning : love thy enemies, love those who envy you.. pray for them.. they may hate me, make stories against me, do things that in turn would put me to shame.. i mean, i won’t stoop down to that level. there are just people who dont fight fairly! in life this one fits the scenario: be friend to all, but trust not all! I easily make friends with people that i did  not realize there are fake ones. they are just passers by.  Anyway, i know who are real people, my family, relatives, friends who stood up by me when i was really down recently.hehhhe.. and One above.. I will still meet different people, maybe like them, but I know whom I should give my trust. I better now, stronger now, wiser now yet I’m still willing to give more trust and love to those people who needs me! heheh.. dami kasi plastic sa earth.. hhehheh..worst, i met them.. kainis..